Sexual purity is one of those issues in life that most everyone will face at one time or another, as sexuality is a very important aspect in how we were created by God. This challenge is often seen as a single person’s problem in maintaining one’s virginity until married. But somehow, very little discussion is generated pertaining to the conduct of two consenting adults (male and female) in the covenant of marriage.
As we find in Genesis 1:26-28 & Genesis 2:24, God established the covenant of marriage to be defined as a union between a man and woman as husband and wife. That is not hate speech as some would suppose in this perverse generation of reprobates, but is in fact how Almighty God designed the structure and distinctive nature of the family unit. It is in the covenant of marriage that we find the instruction from God to be fruitful and multiply. That fruitfulness is demonstrated in procreation and the process of raising children to worship God.
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. 27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
We also find that as a result of sin entering into the world, a separation occurred between God and man that can only be remedied through the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. Sin separates us from God, and sin ultimately produces death (Romans 6:23). Sin also defiles, shames, torments, and destroys. To know and understand what is proper sexual conduct in marriage, it is imperative to have the mind of Christ! Having the mind of Christ is found in being devoted to the will of God. Being devoted to the will of God is found in surrendering one’s will, one’s life, and one’s ambition in prayful devotion to the study and application of Scripture, living a consecrated life that is led by the Holy Spirit of God! The Children of God are called to be holy!
Holiness is a matter of being set apart! The way we live our lives is not defined by the culture that surrounds us, but is defined by God Himself, as the Children of God are his people. We are not to learn the way of the heathen! Purity matters! Holiness matters! Righteousness matters! One of the beauties of Scripture is that it reveals to us what God expects from us! There is a difference between clean and unclean, holy and unholy, right and wrong, truth and error, light and darkness, and good and evil.
So here are some suggestions for the married couple who have questions as to what is and is not acceptable sexual behavior in the covenant of marriage between two consenting adults:
- Homosexual behavior such as sodomy is not acceptable, as it is behavior that is contrary to the law of God. Sodomy does not produce life, it produces death, as evidenced by the spread of Aids, STDs, and the destruction of the human body. There is no way to be fruitful and multiply with such conduct which is evil. Sodom and Gomorrah is an example of how God views homosexuality.
- Oral sex is not acceptable conduct for the Children of God, as it defiles the temple of God. Many people who engage in such behavior develop mouth and throat cancer/sores and can spread viruses. Oral sex is lascivious behavior that is full of lust and unnatural affection.
- Idolatry is also an issue in marriage, as a partner can become an object of worship that takes the place of God in one’s own heart. There is nothing wrong with enjoying each other’s company, but care must be taken in not crossing the line.
- Masturbation can be a form of perversion that takes the place of one’s partner and can lead to a lifestyle of pornography, which is adultery. Nothing should come between a husband and wife, unless it is for prayer for a time, as detailed in 1 Corinthians 7. Masturbation is also associated with selfishness.
- Withholding sex from one’s partner is also sinful, as it places a marriage in disarray, and can contribute to an unhappy and unhealthy marriage. The Scripture clearly teaches that withholding affection is destructive and damaging to the covenant of marriage.
- The performance of sex acts in the form of bondage and other lewd and lascivious behavior (e.g. Chains; Whips; Handcuffs; Pornography; Multiple partners; and tantric sex; etc.) is unacceptable conduct for those who fear God. The life of a Believer is not about perversion, it’s not about bondage, and it’s not about carnality! Walk in the light of the Lord, and allow the Holy Spirit to lead you into a deeper walk with the Lord Jesus Christ. If one’s conscience is defiled as a result of one’s conduct, then take that as an encouragement to reconsider whether or not that behavior is acceptable!
Those people who have a perverse sexual lifestyle may also have a perverse view of God! And that is clearly seen in those who dabble in Kabbalah and the worship of Shekinah! It is also clearly seen in those who thrive on what it means for them to be intimate with God, as what is seen in the abominable and reckless New Apostolic Reformation and Emergent Church. That is why it is imperative to be prayerfully devoted to the will of God in living by his every Word (Matthew 4:4). One’s experiences and personal opinions/whims should not dictate one’s behavior and what is or is not acceptable conduct. The life of the Believer is defined by God!
Here are some passages of Scripture for consideration:
- 1 Corinthians 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,
- Galatians 5:19-21 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which Itell you before, as Ihave also told youin time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
- Ephesians 5:1-5 Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; 2 And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour. 3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; 4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. 5 For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
- Colossians 3:5,6Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry: 6 For which things’ sake the wrath of God cometh on the children of disobedience.
- 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8For this is the will of God, evenyour sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:4 That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;5 Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:6 That no mango beyond and defraud his brother in anymatter: because that the Lord isthe avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified.7 For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.8 He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath also given unto us his holy Spirit.
The proper sexual union between a man and wife in the covenant of marriage is something that brings glory to God! Sex is not sinful, but unnatural and immoral behavior, as defined by the Word of God, is sinful! The wrath of God will one day be poured out on the wicked. In that is found a sobering reminder of how God views sin. Believers do not continue in sin, but are servants of righteousness who are devoted to the will of God!
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.